How to Have Effective One-on-Ones with Your Team
These meetings with your direct reports are some of the most important you will have with them.
Not all one-on-ones are created equal. Nor should they be. But, you also don’t want a messy situation that becomes untenable. So, how do you set up an effective, yet flexible, way to check in with your direct reports?
What Is a One-on-One?
A one-on-one meeting, often abbreviated as “1:1” or “1-on-1,” is a type of meeting or discussion between two individuals, typically in a professional or work-related context. These meetings are intended to provide a dedicated and private space for communication, collaboration, and feedback. Typically between manager and direct report, but I have seen organizations where a senior member of the team did them as well with junior team members. One-on-one meetings are common in various organizational settings, including workplaces, educational institutions, and mentorship programs.
Google found that technical expertise, ranked last among important characteristics for a manager to hold. … what employees most valued are even-keeled bosses who check in regularly for one-on-one meetings, who helped employees think more deeply by asking questions, not giving orders, and who demonstrated interest in their employees’ careers as well as their overall well-being. source
The Purpose of a One-on-One
These meetings should be thought of as a continuing conversation with the goal of improving their work life. They are typically set at a cadence (weekly, bi-weekly) and build off the previous conversation in that I think of them as one long conversation broken up into weekly episodes.
Out of this meeting your team member should walk away feeling heard, feeling seen, and valued, all in a private setting. (Active listening by the manager is key here!) Moreover, they can look forward to the conversation continuing next week, which is different than most meetings where there is a push to wrap things up by the end.
I do try and steer clear of this meeting being a task-based or project-based conversation so that we have space and time to cover interpersonal issues, professional growth, administrative issues, and other topics.
How to Hold Effective One-on-Ones
This is the framework I use, and is shared here in a way to allow for you to adapt to your team, company culture, and circumstances. There is no ‘one way’ to do one-on-ones, and I’ve even found that mine vary slightly between team members so that I can meet them where they are at.
Set the tone
It’s important to explain to the team at-large the purpose of one-on-ones on your team. They may have come from other teams and done them in a more or less strict fashion. When I first join a team as a manager or take on a new employee, I set out 1:1s to be weekly, as I get to know them. I also mention that they drive the conversation—this is their meeting to hold the mic, so to speak, and connect over whatever they need.
Set the cadence
Again, start weekly, and change it as needed. Once you get to know them and things run smoothly, you may not need to check-in so often and can move to every other week. I strongly encourage setting a recurring calendar event, and moreover, protecting it. A manager seen often moving or canceling your 1:1 around can send the signal that you are not as important as other things, and or they have poor planning. Not a good look.
Order may matter
I had a team where the order of my weekly 1:1s mattered. I had a few employees that worked together, and I found that talking to one of them before the others helped me show up better for the following ones. Not to say that the conversation was shared amongst them (it isn’t), but I felt informed and was able to have better answers.
I also have a weekly team meeting on Mondays to set the tone for the week’s work. Having 1:1s after this meeting allows for them to ask questions about the tone and direction of the week in a setting that does not have the eyes of the team on them.
This is a coaching moment
I always view these as a moment where I am coaching my team, individually. They all need support and cheerleading and information in different ways. They are all growing at different paces. In a 1:1, I can give them that attention (through active listening) and help them toward their personal and professional goals.
Set goals
Each employee should have personal and professional goals. Get these early on, and be sure to check in periodically as they progress and grow—their goals may change. Time permitting, I like to use this time to ask how I can support them in their stated goals.
Take notes
Again, this is a series of conversations, building off the previous. While I like to start off each 1:1 with “How can I best support you this week?”, you may also want to revisit something mentioned in a previous meeting. I always like to start with giving them the space to talk first. (Also, be sure to mention you are taking notes so that it does not appear like you are working while they are talking.)
Integrity, and the follow-up
Be sure to follow through with any action items that came up during the 1:1, and follow-up with your direct report. Even if it is a note to say “I am still working on this”, that reinforces the importance of the meeting. If and when these are seen as “that half hour that goes into the void”, you start to lose that employee’s trust in you.
An Ineffective 1:1 Can Be Worse than Not Doing Them at All
There, I said it. If you keep moving or canceling their 1:1s; or you don’t follow-up on action items; or you don’t seem to keep track of the conversation thread week-to-week; or you seem not interested; you are out of integrity, and likely sending a strong signal to them that they are not valued.
Your employee can certainly cancel or move your 1:1—this is their meeting after all—but try your best to protect that time for them.
Keep in mind that you are here to actively listen and show up for them. And then hold yourself accountable in following up and keeping them informed. Again, if you know you cannot show up in this way, I would recommend not scheduling a series of 1:1s until you can do so.
What If I Have Never Done 1:1s with My Team?
You can start any time! Talk with other managers about how they do 1:1s so that you can design a framework that fits your team so they can benefit from them. Then have a conversation (not an email!) during a team meeting to announce that you will be doing 1:1s now, and how they will go. Open it up for them to ask questions and give feedback. Then collaborate on a time that works best for each team member.
What If I Have Numerous Direct Reports?
You may need to spread this out to be every other week, and allow them to schedule meetings as needed in-between. And some employees may only want monthly check-ins. Allow for some flexibility to meet the needs of the business and your team.
Also, you may have a senior employee that could do 1:1s with the most junior employees, freeing you up a bit. Just be sure to have 1:1s with them as well, perhaps monthly or every couple months, depending on your situation and team dynamic.
In Summary
1:1s are an effective way to help connect with and coach your direct reports. They can discuss progress in their growth, challenges, goals, and any other relevant topics to help them improve their work life. And sometimes, that may mean you are there to help them through some personal issues as well (within reason, of course). If this is all new to you, seek other seasoned managers that have done this for some guidance on how they conduct 1:1s with their team.
